A couple of things:

1. Good sex versus bad sex. Good sex for me involves both people being into it. Ansari continued way past the point where he should have thought she was into it. That meant he wanted sex even if she didn’t want it, and he was willing to use home court advantage to get it.
2. Is it unreasonable to ask a man or a woman who is turned down for sex to be polite and respectful to the other person for a while, let the boil simmer, and see if they can get to know each other? Or at least to say: “I want sex, just sex, and if you want something else tonight, you should leave?”
3. Why are we so worried about Ansari’s feelings here? Is he a fragile kid? He’s not acting like it. Again, he wanted the kind of sex you get with a woman you barely know, who’s not really into it, and which you obtain only by persistently putting your hand in her mouth and trying to get her to touch your penis. If that loses him audience, well he probably should understand the implications of not respecting the person he was with.