Essentially: in any social situation where a positive outcome is hoped for — for both people — the initiator needs to understand that it is up to him or to her to make sure what he or she is initiating is good for the other person.
Please: men and women, let’s get rid of the myth that that unconsented initiation of a kiss or anything is okay. I’ve heard female friends encourage me to initiate a kiss without asking on the first date with a person.
However, if someone does try something not verbally consented to, and gets rebuffed — that means stop initiating, like until told otherwise or until the other person initiates.
That means, Ansari and folks like Ansari, if you try to get laid, and she rebuffs you — you finish the date with your pants on, and she doesn’t go home crying.