I’m glad you wrote this.
As someone who has had to risk his neck by exposing part of my own industry I didn’t like or about calling out an employee for sexist behavior, I know the dangerous line you walked here — and I feel you set a model for how it can be done effectively.
The behavior you relate about Ansari is timely and important to the narrative of #metoo which got attacked on the basis of a harrowing tale in babe.net. The tale itself was critical to share, but critics latched onto the lack of proof and they implied consent with the woman’s actions. They engaged in the kind of victimblaming and the kind of “that’s just guy behavior” kids and people of all ages are having modeled for them by President 45. Your explanation helps us understand this was not a single incident, but fit into a pattern of behavior of a person whose work on screen was widely admired.
It is not okay to treat women as non persons at work for whatever reason.
It is also not okay for an industry, almost any industry, to attack whistleblowers. #metoo was great in helping overwhelm those who would attack whistleblowers. I hope it continues from now on.
We need to live in a culture which rewards people calling out wrongdoing, doesn’t attack them.