I have to question this: “ And judging by his text to her the following day, Ansari was apparently clueless as to her perception of what had happened.”
Maybe, just maybe, he knew he was a creep and wanted to act innocent in a written medium which could be recorded for posterity. Maybe he realized the optics would be terrible if she recounted the experience to anyone, and he was doing damage control. He wanted to make it so that she would have to reply to him that, no, it was not a good evening. She did.
“He took advantage of her reluctance to say no.”
Sorry. The event was contrived to take advantage of her. That doesn’t sound like a date so much as an attempt to cash in on his fame with sex from someone he barely knew and with whom he did not do the requisite checking in on her interests. Sure, she could and should have forcefully said no, and other steps to prevent this. But his dick didn’t just pop out on its own accord, didn’t just draw her hands to it on its own, didn’t rub itself against her ass on its own — there was a person attached to it, and it wasn’t her.
That’s the person we should be focusing on.
One time, when I was a lonely kid in middle school, I invited a nerdy friend over to my house. It was my first time having a guy friend over. He got to watch me play computer games, to see the programs I had come up with, and to hear me talk about the neighborhood. My mom politely took me aside and reminded me that he is a guest and would probably like to do some things, too. I was in middle school, not in my 30s like Ansari. The worst my friend could have complained about was being bored, not like what Ansari subjected his guest to. Remember, she was in his house.
He was the host. He didn’t act like one. He acted like someone who was going to keep putting his guest in check until he got checkmate on a board he set up.
That’s victimizing and disgusting behavior.