The writing here is vapid. I didn’t read it because of writing quality, but because of the same impulse that has me eavesdropping on the person having the self-important and overly-loud conversation on the train.
To write actually compelling and interesting pieces, you need to get outside of yourself: actually understand other people and pay attention to how well-crafted pieces are put together. Until you get past yourself, you won’t write pieces of merit.
The truth is you were unhappy in your relationship with baseball cap and you elected to cheat on him with an ex- with whom you had been texting.
He’s happily married now, and you call yourself a writer.
His deal is real. Your fantasy of being a writer is not. Try again after some hard work.